The transition between finishing university and moving home has been hard. Physically hard, emotionally hard, mentally hard, just fucking hard.
At the beginning of third year, my plan was to be sensible with my money, save as much as I can and be able to pay rent in London (after finishing uni) and look for a job in London, within my graduate field- that didn’t work out.
Rent in London is astounding, whenever I used to walk around London streets with basic looking houses or flats I’d always Google the street name and find out property values, and yes, they were all overpriced, an absolute joke ting.
So, I deaded that plan.
As the end of final year rapidly approaches, I managed to bag myself a retail job on Oxford Street.
While working full-time(ish) hours, on a decent(ish) wage, I came to the sad reality that it just wasn’t enough to live in London. I was essentially working, to live. I wasn’t saving a damn penny. In mid-august my work contract finished, my lease was up so, I moved back to little ole’ Leicester, ‘Lei’ they call it nowadays.
My first week back in ends was amazing. I turned 21, had the best birthday and I spent time with my favourite people. Loved it.
My second week back, I was in Madeira, Portugal for the week… sunbathing all day, almost every day, becoming the chocolate darling that I am, living my best life.
Then I came back home.
My Mum had taken the week off so that week automatically became a write-off.
So, my first real week home has been this past week…
Unemployment: WEEK 1
I applied for jobs for about an hour, in the morning then complained for about an hour and 20 minutes on one of my WhatsApp group chats about how this process is so long and how I can’t hack it. Then I finished watching the last season of Vampire Diary’s and cried, not because of what a shambles my life feels like but because the last episode was so emotional… kinda because my life is a shambles too, small small.
I applied for jobs that weren’t within the field my degree is in, but was then later advised not to get comfortable doing that because A) I’d “hate” my life and B) I could end up getting too comfortable with the income and my degree and all the money spent attaining that degree would become “all for nothing.”
I also spent time on the phone to one of my cousins ranting about how living in Leicester is not the wave, there are absolutely 0 job opportunities here.
I had my Jobseekers Allowance Interview. I went to the Job Centre with a full-face of make-up, Nike trainers, Topshop jeans and a nice winter coat from Zara. No, I’m not trying to be a dick by naming what I was wearing, but the people around me looked at me sideways, like ‘what the eff is she doing here?!’
I only applied for JSA because I was told to, ‘It’ll help,’ they said. I felt bad being there to be honest, seeing the people who needed money way more than I needed money, it made me feel as if I was there to take their money- not nice, I felt rude in fact.
Anyways, I decided to dead that plan too.
Later, on Thursday I went for a walk by myself in a park, my initial intention was to go for a jog, which I did do for about 2 minutes, or so. Then I walked around for 1.55 miles (1.55 exact, according to my Nike+ running app).
During my walk, I did some self-reflection, thought about all the things I’d like to change about myself. Changes with my applying-for-jobs ethic, people I associate with, my body, my standards in men and then some irrelevant changes like my hair and nail colour.
I can honestly say that this walk was one of the best things that I could’ve done for myself, clearing my head and getting some of my priorities in order, I really do advise it.
When I finally went home I applied for over 10 jobs, within my field and it made me feel so good about myself.
I also started reading after so long, that felt good too (probably because the book I’m reading is hilarious).
I also went home and deleted/unfollowed/unfriended all the shitty people I’d been associating with on social media. And removed all the useless guys I’d been having DEAD conversation with too.
I don’t want to say #AllMenAreTrash because they’re not. But, some mandem really let you lot down as a whole, sort it out man.
Anyways, it’s Friday now and I’ve applied for a few more jobs today, mainly read my book all day.
My auntie suggested that I write, so she’s the reason why I’m writing this post and she’s also the reason why I’m feeling even better about myself after writing this post, so thanks D! (check out my aunties fitness page by the way for healthy workout ideas and healthy recipes: Eatclean-Stayfit-Lovelife)
Not sure what to do now I’ve written this…
Can’t see why anyone would be interested in reading this to be honest…
The moral of this blog post is, tek time.
Patience is a virtue and all that- no really, it is. This week has made me realised I’m not going to get anywhere by rushing or trying to take the easy route.
Jobs, friends, men (women), gloing up- things worthwhile, take time. If the company, you keep is positive and the vibes you keep around you are always good you’ll soon be winning in life.
Good luck guys!
P.S. when I say “winning” I don’t necessarily mean financially; I mean you’ll have a happy mind-set, which is a form of winning. Ain’t no positive company and good vibes gonna get your bread up, that’s on your own b.