50SOFB – E2

*DISCLAIMER* – This IS a true story, no real names will be mentioned.

GIRL – Natasha
GUY – Mr Music Producer

Mr Music Producer followed Natasha on Instagram and like many Insta-thirsty guys Mr Music Producer would slide into Natasha’s DM’s with the boring old, “👀” or “🔥.”

These small small replies continued for a long time, they were talking over a year before any real conversation.

Initially Natasha didn’t know to what extent Mr Music Producer was a music producer, you know, 80% of guys on Instagram play two notes on a keyboard mix it a little on Garageband and add ‘music producer 🎼’ to their bio. 

It wasn’t until Mr Music Producer told Natasha who he produced music for that she realised that he’s actually IN this music industry, for real. 

After Natasha and her best friend had done their digging to make sure that Mr Music Producer wasn’t lying, they were able to confirm that he had produced music for big names in the music scene such as, Krept and Konan, Stormzy, Ella Mai and co-produced beats for Chris Brown, French Montana, Meek Mill and a load of other American artists. 

Over the course of a year Natasha and Mr Music Producer spoke, on and off, it was never serious. It was pretty obvious that they both weren’t looking for anything, which was a good thing. They were both on the same page. 

Throughout the year, Mr Music Producer used his connects to try and sell Natasha as many dreams as he could, e.g. if he was working in the U.S. he would send videos of his hotel to Natasha saying “this could be you,” “it could be you chilling here.” 🚩

Natasha played along with his dream selling, even though she knew he was gassing. She even told him she’d send her passport details over for him to buy her a ticket, but, of course he’d create an excuse, “ah babe, there’s no point now, I’ll be back in ends soon.” 🚩

All talk, no action type of guy. 🚩🚩🚩

Fast-forward a couple of months, Mr Music Producer was back in the same city as Natasha and they’d planned to meet, finally.

Mr Music Producer went over to Natasha’s one evening. 

The first time they met, he wore a big, (probably designer), white, furry coat with black Giuseppe Zanotti’s, Natasha didn’t really care about high-end designer brands, in fact if anyone ever wore high-end designer branded clothing or shoes 9/10 times she wouldn’t even realise.

Their first… 🍆 appointment, went well. They both knew what he was there for, however, before they got right into it, they spent 2 hours talking about what they both did on a day-to-day. I mean, they owed that much to each other considering they’d been talking for over a year. 

Natasha realised that he looked a lot better in his pictures. But, what did she expect? All of his pictures on Instagram had been taken with SLR’s and all of his Snapchat stories weren’t of his face. So, that was probably her personal problem. 


Natasha must’ve had that good, good. Mr Music Producer was back two nights later… talk about pu$$y pow£r. 

The second night he came over, he dressed down a bit. He wore Puma sneakers this time, a plain black t-shirt, jeans and a jacket. He looked uglier than the first time Natasha had met him. 

This time, their appointment was a lot shorter than the previous appointment and Mr Music Producer got straight in there. Natasha was reluctant to get into anything too quickly, but she eventually decided to go ahead with their (very obvious) appointment. Mr Music Producer seemed to be a lot more demanding this time and to be honest, pretty rude. 🚩🚩

During their time together that evening, Mr Music Producer overstepped the boundaries, by far. 🚩🚩🚩

Natasha knew Mr Music Producer had no obligation to be saaarft with her but she knew whether it was just a booty call situation or not, he had to be respectful of her (and vice versa), no matter who he thought he was. 

Saying things like “I’m not done so just keep going,” “I haven’t come here for no reason, you know” and “So you don’t wanna beat no more? Shall I just get my Uber now then?” Were NOT ok. 🚩🚩🚩

He got his Uber. 

Funny story regarding the Uber situation, both times Mr Music Producer had gone to Natasha’s he got Uber’s there (and back, obvs), but ever since Natasha could remember, Mr Music Producer claimed he drove a 2015 Mercedes AMG C63, obviously, my man was doing up 10 toes and Uber everywhere for the most part.


The following evening Mr Music Producer must’ve seen Natasha’s Snapchat story, she had gone out with her friends and had been drinking. So, he thought he had another chance to swoop in and try his luck…

(Natasha was drunk, hence the spelling errors. “dead beat but you’re asking if you should come to mind at 3am, chill.”*)

Now, as baffled as Natasha was at the time, all she could do then and now is laugh. Not even AT Mr Music Producer, but laugh WITH him, “I was gona come nut on ur head and leave…” I don’t know about you guys, but that reply is funny as SHIT! 

It was clear Mr Music Producer was offended, but he played it cool – so, props to him.

I’m still laughing at his reply. 😂

Well, I hope you enjoyed reading episode 2, as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Episode 3: The DMU Dummy, out next week!

Do any of you guys have any funny f*ck boy stories you wouldn’t mind sharing? If you would let me know, my DM’s are open. I’ll keep it all private, no one would know it’s you (except me, obvs). You can even choose the alias’.