Going Back to a [Toxic] Ex

Don’t do it.

To be honest, I feel like I could’ve finished this blog with the line above but that wouldn’t make for great advice or blog.

Let me start by saying, if you’re reading this and you’re considering going back to, replying to, following or initiating any kind of communication with an old flame – you’re most likely going to do it but I’m going to try my best to talk you out of it.

My best friend, my mum and people I talk to on a regular basis will continuously tell me to STFU if ever I bring up an ex in conversation. They continuously advise me not to instigate contact or be lured into a conversation by them…

But do I listen? Nope!

Why? Because let’s face it when there’s someone you’ve been wanting to talk to and an opportunity becomes available most people are jumpin’ like Jordan!

Now, not to discount those who have the willpower to stop themselves from instigating conversation or replying. I really do commend you. 🙂

Ok, so the reason for this blog. 

I’m mainly writing this so I can remind myself that if I do decide to get in contact with an old babes – when I finally realise that I’ve taken a big fat L – it’s my own fault, self-inflicted.

But, because I know of so many people who’ve been in such a similar predicament I decided to write a blog to remind them too – should they decide to listen.

Again, talking from experience, I know a lot of the time when I feel like going back to an ex or at least creating some kind of contact with them, it’s mainly because I’m bored. 

SO so bored. 

It’s those times when I’m driving to work, walking my dog or when I’m awake past my bedtime that I think… I coooould just ask him how he is or how work’s going or how I saw him on his cousins Snapchat story looking like a fucking sweeeeeet one (ugh).

The cycle goes a little something like this (for me): 

Anyway, enough about me and my bad decisions with men. 

All I’d like to say is don’t do it. 

There’s a reason you aren’t on talking terms, there’s a reason why he (or she) is your ex, there’s a reason why your best friend or mum or someone you talk to on a regular basis is advising you not to go there!

I’ve always said throughout life, you outgrow people…

…to outgrow someone doesn’t mean you’re better than them it just means you’re at a different stage in your life in comparison to them or your journeys are just heading in different directions, and to be honest iz okai, iz okaaaai!

To outgrow someone can be the same with a partner (or former partner) as it is with anyone else in your life – more time it happens for a reason.

So when you’re bored and feel like messaging them, ‘liking’ their latest Instagram post, or you see them on any socials looking like a snack please remember your worth and the situation really isn’t worth the hassle. 

(I’ll do the same too. 🤝)


If you do end up talking to your old babes again and your relationship does work out please don’t blame me or this blog for almost not going back there… this is just a lil’ reminder for myself not to be a dickhead all my life.